The holidays surrounding this season are perhaps the most reflective about our lives, the most reverent for the highest power we believe in, and the most joyous for the celebrations we share with those we hold most dear.

This article by Larry Minix the President and CEO of LeadingAge is reprinted with permission.

The holidays surrounding this season are perhaps the most reflective about our lives, the most reverent for the highest power we believe in, and the most joyous for the celebrations we share with those we hold most dear.

It is a time for the highest of highs, and unfortunately, a time for some lowest of lows mixed in: sadness for those we’ve lost, regret about what might have been, panic about the difficulties that often seem overwhelming.

Yes, this season is the intense crucible that foments the most powerful forces in our lives.

Over the last 45 years of working with older adults, persons with mental illness, and their families — as well as dealing with my own family and its history and dynamics — I’ve learned a few things about getting the most satisfying and peaceful outcomes of the season.

Let Me Share Some Hard-earned Advice

  1. Christmas DecorationCall or visit with those you love most, and tell them how much you love them and what they mean to you. None of us have any guarantees on tomorrow, so make sure that your love for someone doesn’t go unspoken and that you don’t go to bed before making amends.
  2. Create a list of the 5-10 most important people in your life — mentors, friends, family. If they are still alive, call them and tell them why they are an important part of your life. If they have passed on, set up a short meditation time and thank God for these people. And while you are at it, ask God to forgive you for those you have wronged.
  3. Make or buy toys for an anonymous kid who wouldn’t have one without you. If you have children or grands, make it a family event at the toy store.
  4. Attend a worship service or concert that includes glorious music. There is something about Handel’s Messiah, for example, that is truly divine intervention every time I hear it.
  5. Find time to pray for peace, for wisdom, for strength, for guidance for yourself and for the leaders in every domain of our lives — especially our state, national, and international leaders. Many of us spend a lot time criticizing the people in these roles, so let’s carve out a few minutes to pray for them.
  6. Visit someone who will have trouble getting out during this season. Offer to help them decorate or to address cards or to purchase gifts.
  7. Call or visit friends or relatives going through a hard time — loss of job, grief over a recent death, trouble with a tough health problem.
  8. Wherever you go, find things to laugh about — old jokes, embarrassing moments, good times. Wear something a little silly when you venture out!
  9. Eat fried chicken, pie, cornbread, oyster stuffing, almost anything chocolate, and everything with icing or gravy on it — unless of course your family or your doctor has you on a diet of tofu and bean sprouts for health reasons (perhaps a few candy sprinkles on the tofu would be OK?).
  10. Stop by the night shift dressed up like Santa Claus or an elf, and bring along toys, sausage biscuits, and donuts with lots of those sprinkles on them — and some hot cider, too!
  11. Avoid poisonous people: the hostile, the intoxicated, the chronic complainers, the guilt inducers — anyone who puts you and others down. Meanness spoils things for everybody.
  12. And finally, quit trying to change certain people! Ya can’t teach a pig to sing; it frustrates you, and it annoys the pig.

If you follow these 12 pieces of advice this holiday season, you’ll be able to step back into your day-to-day routine having enjoyed one of the best, most meaningful holidays ever.

You’ll feel renewed and reconnected to those most important to you!

It’s a feeling that can last all year — and far beyond current and future generations!

Happy Holidays!

Larry Minnix
LeadingAge President and CEO