By Steve Moran
Writing this, I am now 45 days into my senior living consumer journey with my 91-year-old stepfather Gary, and I suspect that the senior living community leadership sees me as a difficult and demanding family member.
I confess that I kind of feel like I am that jerky, demanding family member that everyone in the community hates — the one they talk about, the one that gets complained about on Facebook and LinkedIn.
I can almost see it on the face of the community team members each time I walk though the door or down the corridor.
But …
I complain a lot because things don’t get taken care of the first time. I was forced to move Gary into memory care even though all of his very temporary wandering behavior was very specific to his hospitalization.
We had a big fight about levels of care, where they deemed him to be total assist with everything even after watching him get out of the car and walk to the dining room unassisted and without aid of a walker, wheelchair, or cane. I mostly won that battle.
Then when we got to the room, it was spartan. Maybe it’s that way in every memory care community before a resident moves in, but I don’t think so.
We immediately discovered the TV didn’t work — the same for the room heat.
After a while, someone showed up with the remote for the TV — well, actually two remotes, which is absurd in any senior living community but particularly in memory care.
I was told the heat was a bigger problem: Someone could bring in a ladder and adjust the thermostat manually on the HVAC above the window.
I cheated a bit with the rules, went home and got a space heater.
Nearly Every Time
Nearly every time we needed something to be made right or fixed, or someone to provide care, we would have to ask two or three times before it would get done. So yep, I was and am that resident family.
But maybe before you too quickly label a family member or a resident as a troublemaker, it would be worthwhile to look at how the community, how the staff, contributed to the problem.
Well said. We do “exit interviews” with family members who have loved ones who vacated a community. These are very important and constructive if a community “listens.” People share similar frustrations with a community. Unfortunately, you aren’t alone. It’s poor customer service that an apartment wasn’t readied for a move-in. Operators claim they are in the hospitality business but if you were a hotel guest, and the room’s TV or the heater didn’t work; your expectations would be they both would work. You’d be downstairs at the front desk asking for a new room immediately.
A short time ago, you published an article describing the things families say and do that aggravate staff. At the time, I thought it would be appropriate to show the counter-point, things staff say and do that aggravate caregivers. Maybe a joint open, non-threatening discussion of these feelings in each residence would be enlightening and beneficial.