By Steve Moran
I was just watching a video snippet where the speaker was talking about how self-care is critical to being our “awesome selves” each and every day.
I call BS!
First I do think self-care is critically important, so that is not what I am calling BS about. What is BS is this idea that we can be awesome every day. It is simply not possible to do,
… no matter how smart you are.
… no matter how good-looking you are.
… no matter how rich you are.
… no matter how successful you are.
You can find massive numbers of people who are smart, good-looking, rich, and successful who are not awesome, who don’t feel awesome, who are in fact miserable.
The reason I call BS on this is that when influencers, thought leaders tell us we can be awesome all the time or even most of the time, they are setting us up for misery. It is an impossible goal; it is the kind of goal that drives people to despair, to terrible mental health problems, even to suicide.
If you doubt me, do a Google search for celebrity divorce. You will get something like 265 million hits. People lists 40 couples from January to August that have called it quits.
Our lives are made up of many moments. Most of those moments are extraordinarily ordinary and boring: sleeping, eating, doing personal care, driving, taking out the trash, cooking meals, cleaning up, gardening.
There are also moments of terribleness. Some of those moments are self-inflicted, and others are simply things that happen to us.
Then there are moments of awesomeness. Some of those moments are big: graduating, getting a new job, getting married. Most are medium and small: seeing a child’s first steps, playing chase the ball with your dog, watching a sunset or a sunrise, walking barefoot on the beach. Some of them are professionally related: getting a promotion, closing a big deal, landing a new job, hiring just the right person, mentoring someone and seeing them “get it.”
Living for Moments
Perhaps a truly awesome life is figuring out a way to embrace all the moments, even those that are the very worst. When we embrace all moments, we will be on the path to happiness, and there is nothing better than that.
I Am 68 …
Just this week my friend Ken Dychtwald posted something on LinkedIn about how older people are happier than younger people (have you ever noticed that no one ever complains that saying something like that is ageist?). One of the reasons those of us who are older are happier is that we are better able to embrace the bad and the ordinary as well as the awesome moments. We have a much better perspective on the reality that we do and did get through the terrible times, though with lasting scars, and yet we made it, and we thrived.
For those of you who are younger, you will too. Trust me on this!