Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

By Steve Moran

So several months ago someone pointed me to this website called The Middle Finger Project and I was hooked . . . except well, the language is just plain “R” rated and honestly makes me cringe every time I read it. Yet Ash Ambirge, the publisher, puts out some some really good stuff. So I continue to cringe and read.  

Several days ago she published an article (FAIR WARNING: EVEN THE TITLE OF THE ARTICLE IS TOO SPICY FOR THIS BLOG) about the toughness of life that included this:

  1. “There are always going to be days—weeks, months, years—where everything feels hard”

  2. “There are always going to be people who do wrong by you . . . “

  3. “Something will always go wrong”

  4. “Websites will break”

  5. “Humans will disappoint”

  6. “You’ll disappoint yourself”

Her proposition is to “not give a damn”. . . plus some more saucy language you won’t find at Senior Housing Forum.

I would suggest a twist on her thinking:

  1. Tomorrow is another day . . . If you have been reading Senior Housing Forum for a while you know, sometimes painfully so, that we make mistakes, typos, grammerr errors and worse. When I discover I really blew it, I realized tomorrow I will publish another blog and everyone (almost everyone will forget). Another day, another post. 

    In reality we all make mistakes and, for the most part, we work with good people who also, from time to time, make mistakes and have things go wrong. When things go wrong, even when they go really really wrong . . .

  2. When you make a mistake, apologize, fix it as best you can, then move on. I would tell you to also forget about it, and if you can do that, even better, but most of us can’t do that. But accepting and moving on will make it fade to nothing over time.
  3. Remember there are jerks in the world and jerks do mean nasty things. They do it to everyone they know eventually, it is not personal. Get them out of your life if you can. If you are stuck with them minimize the contact and be polite.

    I would note, though, that you should not keep jerks in your life just for money. Many many years ago I was involved in a very rough opening of a new senior living community. We got the occupancy permit on at 4:30 on Thanksgiving eve and moved in more than 25 people on the Friday after Thanksgiving. It was horrible, the building was not completely ready. I had no control over that process.

    That Friday one family member came into the executive director’s office and gave me a tongue lashing that was horrible and unwarranted.  Being very young I didn’t know what to do, so I just took it. When I told my boss about it later, he was not happy with me. He told me I should have walked that angry man to the door and told him his family member wasn’t welcome and we would refund their deposit.  

    It was one of the most valuable lessons I have ever learned.

  4. In spite of number 3, most people are doing the best they can. It may be the tough stuff being dumped on you by another is happening because they are in even worse shape than you.
  5. Life is hard for everyone and the quality of your life is determined almost solely by how you deal with the hard difficult impossible situations in your life.