By Mary Eileen Finch
He sits alone, slumped and bland, on the couch by the elevator every morning after breakfast, waiting for the line to dissipate. He only comes to meals โ never an activity. (A range of emotional expression is clearly diminished, poor eye contact, reduced body language;ย https://psychcentral.com/schizophrenia/schizophrenia-symptoms/).
I drink an avocado-spinach smoothie every morning, running into my office in-between setting up for exercise to take sips.
His eyes track my movements as I drag a stack of chairs into the atrium, race back to my office for a sip of green goodness and then back to the activity room for another stack of chairs. (The eyes repeatedly fall back and then catch up with jerky movements, known as saccadic;ย http://www.schizophrenia.com/newsletter/397/397eyestudy.html).
I always say โhiโ to him in passing. Sometimes he nods; (a lack of facial movement, facial expression, eye contact, and vocal inflection).
One day, I was hungrier than normal. I was trying to drink my smoothie and set up the chairs at the same time. This really wasnโt working well.
I plopped down next to him, sipped on my smoothie and started to chat. It was a one-sided conversation. Sometimes heโd nod; (may not speak much, even if they are in a situation where they are forced to interact).
Afterward, another resident pulled me aside and sternly stated, โYou donโt want to sit by him. I heard heโs a schizophrenic. He could hurt you.โ
I took a deep breath. I told myself to stay calm. I jotted down a note to bring in a mental health professional for a Holiday Retirement โLetโs Talk Seniorsโ and to show A Beautiful Mind during a movie matinรฉe; (most people with schizophrenia suffer from symptoms either continuously or intermittently throughout life and are often severely stigmatized by people who do not understand the disease. https://www.bbrfoundation.org/what-is-schizophrenia-signs-symptoms-treatments).
I stopped rushing to my office for sips of my smoothie. I made a point to sit down on the couch for a couple of minutes as often as I could. In time, he started responding to my chatter with โokโ; (a diminished ability to begin and sustain conversation, poverty of speech, and brief, empty replies. https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/thought-disorder).
Iโd start, โIt was foggy on my drive to work today.โ
โOkโ, heโd reply.
โIโm having tacos for supper tonight.โ
โOk.โ
โI ran my first 5k!โ
โOk.โ
Iโd ask him if heโd like to join us for exercise. Heโd slowly shake his head: (may no longer care about anything or become apathetic, characterized by a โlack of emotionโ, interest, and concern. May become indifferent to important aspects of life. This leads to neglect of social, emotional, physical, and cognitive aspects of life. There is a lack in overall sense of purpose and the person may appear very sluggish. This is also very common among individuals with dementia. https://mentalhealthdaily.com/2014/04/01/negative-symptoms-of-schizophrenia/).
Six months of โokโ before he said, โIโm going to McDonald’s today”; (may have an inability to initiate work towards goal-oriented activities).
I was so shocked that I didnโt know what to say. So, I replied, โOk.โ
He nodded.
I nodded.
Then I proceeded to ask a million questions. Where? How long? What are you going to eat?
He answered each question, never elaborating; (if you discuss a certain topic, they may not know how to adequately carry on a conversation that relates to what you were talking about).
We fell into a routine. If I asked him something, heโd give a short answer. If I made a statement, heโd reply โokโ. I learned about his family, his career and his hobby — people watching.
As soon as the elevator was free, heโd get up and go.
Until one day, he stayed. He did exercises on the couch!; (motivation to engage in lifeโs activities may be blunted;ย https://www.bbrfoundation.org/faq/frequently-asked-questions-about-schizophrenia).
I was so proud of him! I told him, โIโm so excited you did that with us!โ
โOk.โ
I was really, really sick recently and had to miss a few days of work.
He must have seen me drive in my first day back because he met me at the front door. โGood to have you back, Mary. We really missed you. Are you OK?โ
My eyes watered. That was the first time heโd ever asked me a question; (unable to create any sort of emotional bond or connection with another person. May not have any friends and completely withdraw from society).
He now joins us for exercise every morning, attends Jumbo Crosswords and participates in all our trivia activities. He has a high IQ and is well educated. He mouths each answer to himself, only speaking it out loud if none of the other residents know the answers. I still sit with him on the couch as often as I can, it doesnโt matter if I have a smoothie or not. Heโs started to really open up about his mental health and how itโs affected him his whole life, the progress heโs making at the VA hospitalโs group sessions, and how his appointments with his social worker go.
For a Thanksgiving activity, I passed out fall leaf cutouts and asked the residents to write what they were most thankful for. Then they attached them to a ribbon on our grand staircase.
His leaf read, โIโm thankful for Mary. She helps me the most.โ
Fight the stigma.