By Steve Moran

The entire senior living industry talks about how great senior living is:

  • How it makes the lives of older people better
  • How it gives older people a new lease on life
  • How we give older people purpose
  • How we create great experiences for older people
  • How we solve the loneliness problem

The list goes on and on.

And Yet …

I’ve been thinking about this for months and talking to people in senior living about it for the same period of time.

Senior living leaders are doing everything they can to ensure they NEVER have to live 

in senior living — at least not until they have no other choice.

There. I said it. The thing I’ve been afraid to put out there in print. I would love to have you prove me wrong!

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

If you need more proof, I want you to give me a list of retired senior living executives (or even executives who are not retired but over age 60) who have moved into senior living as a lifestyle choice.

I can name a few, but that number is fewer than the number of fingers I have on one hand— not counting my thumb.

It’s likely worse than that.

I’ve talked to dozens of people who work in senior living who have moved loved ones into senior living communities, where the experience has been mediocre to terrible. This, of course, is not universally true. I’ve had a series of events with my own family — some being terrible, some being mediocre, and some, including my stepfather’s current setting, really good. I can also name a handful of other leaders who have had really good experiences, mostly in communities they own.

But the exceptions prove the rule.

Rethinking Everything

I’ve spent a ton of time soul-searching about this, at times wondering if I’m a big fat hypocrite for being part of a business sector where I don’t want to be a customer.

Here’s what I’ve come up with (some of which is contradictory):

  • I believe that much like the death business (funeral homes, cemeteries), much of senior living is about necessity rather than lifestyle, and we simply need to be more honest about this reality. Even today, my stepfather is in senior living because it keeps him safer, and we simply couldn’t shoulder the burden of caring for him at home.
  • The reality is that for some people, senior living does represent living their very best life. This is true in spite of senior living executives mostly not believing in their own product.
  • Senior living needs to think more about the most important thing human beings need in order to thrive. The data is clear: it’s human connection. There’s a ton of research to back this up. (Watch for a future article on this topic.)
  • Senior living will never be home. (Watch for a future article on this topic.)
  • Senior living can be better than home, though rarely is. (Future article coming.)
  • We desperately need to be willing to rethink what we are today.

The Fundamental Question

We say that senior living is best for older people. But none of us believes it.

What does that tell you about what we’re selling?

What would you add to this list?