By Jack Cumming

Do you have any regrets about your life to date? Many of us do. I know that I wish I had not married the first time as quickly and as young as I did. That’s my biggest regret, though others are close behind. I regret not having gone into business for myself when I was young. Those two regrets are most likely bound up with each other.

Wisdom

Think about your life. Is there anything in your life now that you may come to regret later? I remember my smart aleck 25-year-old self pontificating with friends and saying (sagely?), “I’d like to live my life so that when I reach age 65, I can look back without regrets.” Age 65 then seemed far off into the future, but eventually it came, and I had fallen short of my own wisdom. It would have taken great resolve and even more courage to have done otherwise.

Now I am 88. I just had a birthday, which is a good time for retrospection. I even have regrets about actions I’ve taken since age 65, but those regrets are better left for a different context. This life reflection came to mind recently when I was listening to a YouTube video while on my daily walk.

Regrets to Avoid

Matthew Kelly, the video presenter, sought advice for living by asking hospice nurses what people regret when they are dying. We can take these regrets and turn them into action steps for our own lives. Example from #1, “I’m no longer going to pretend to be someone I’m not.” Here are Matthew’s findings.

  • I wish I’d had the courage to just be myself.
  • I wish I had spent more time with the people I love.
  • I wish I had made spirituality more of a priority.
  • I wish I hadn’t spent so much time working.
  • I wish I had discovered my purpose earlier.
  • I wish I had learned to express my feelings more.
  • I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about things that never happened.
  • I wish I had taken more risks.
  • I wish I had cared less about what other people thought.
  • I wish I had realized earlier that happiness is a choice.
  • I wish I had loved more.
  • I wish I had taken better care of myself.
  • I wish I had been a better spouse.
  • I wish I had paid less attention to other people’s expectations.
  • I wish I had quit my job and found something I really enjoyed doing.
  • I wish I had stayed in touch with old friends.
  • I wish I had spoken my mind more.
  • I wish I hadn’t spent so much time chasing the wrong things.
  • I wish I’d had more children.
  • I wish I had touched more lives.
  • I wish I had thought about life’s big question earlier.
  • I wish I had traveled more.
  • I wish I had lived more in the moment.
  • I wish I had pursued more of my dreams.

Even though I’m now 88 and can no longer take the risks that I wish I had when I was younger, I’ve taken this list to heart myself. I’m resolved to act on this wisdom, and you can too.