By Rebecca Wiessmann
This article is part of Murry off the Mic. Watch the full episode here.
Murry tells a story that lands because it’s painfully familiar: he does everything “right,” and it still doesn’t work.
Early in his career, he was trained in business process and organizational thinking. He learned what leadership is “supposed” to look like. Leadership lives at the top. Leadership stands at the front of the room. Leadership holds the microphone. Leadership speaks from behind the podium.
Then he helped launch a small assisted living community called Aspen House, built from the ground up — blank walls, empty rooms, big responsibility.
And when the moment came for his first all-staff meeting, he stepped into the role he thought he was supposed to play.
He stood at the podium. He shared the vision. He explained what was going to happen and how they would get there.
And afterward, he realized something unsettling: the meeting didn’t create any spark. Nobody walked out. Nobody threw tomatoes. But nothing caught fire. It was just him talking — and everyone else politely absorbing.
It didn’t feel like leadership.
The Moment Leadership Gets Rewritten
The shift doesn’t happen in a meeting. It happens back at work.
Murry describes being down in the rooms with care associates: painting walls and setting up medication boxes, building charts, figuring out workflows — doing the real work of starting something new.
And while they’re standing side by side, the real conversation begins.
They talk about what matters.
They talk about fears.
They talk about uncertainty.
They talk about how different this household model feels compared to what they’ve known.
They talk about the fact that they’re nervous — because responsibility is real and resources are limited.
And somewhere in that moment, Murry sees it clearly:
Leadership didn’t happen at the podium. It happened in real time while they were doing the work together.
That’s the heart of his idea of just-in-time leadership — leadership that shows up when it’s needed, in the moment, in relationships, through listening and action.
The Best Leadership Is Not Reserved For The “Leader”
Murry pushes the point even further: in a real community, any member can step into leadership.
Not the “appointed leader.” Not the “titled leader.” Not the person with the corner office.
The person who notices what needs to be done.
The person who speaks up with care.
The person who steadies the team in uncertainty.
The person who listens, then acts.
That’s the kind of leadership that actually builds culture — because it builds trust.
And trust is what turns “a group of staff” into “a community.”
What Aspen House Teaches The Industry
The Aspen House story isn’t really about Aspen House. It’s about an industry that still overvalues performance.
Senior living is full of formal moments: town halls, staff meetings, leadership training, carefully crafted messaging.
Those things have a place. But Murry’s argument is simple: if leadership only exists in formal moments, it’s not leadership. It’s theater.
Real leadership happens when the work is happening — and people are watching to see who shows up.
