Age at Home vs. Senior Housing – Part 3
This week I will talk about presenting the benefits of senior housing to families.
Family members often (wrongly) feel massive guilt about encouraging parents or grandparents to to leave the family home and move into a senior housing community. It becomes hugely important to demonstrate to the family members that their loved one will be loved and cared for. There are a number of things you can do to accomplish this:
1. Help the family make a proper assessment of the value of senior housing, including the negatives
This may seem counter intuitive, but it will give your credibility and make your job much easier. It is really important for you to find out about the resident, the family and the reasons behind the move. You can only do this by asking lots of questions. Here are just a few:
– Why are you thinking of making the move?
– What problems is she having at home?
– In your mind, what would the perfect senior housing community be like?
– What kind of medical issues is he facing?
– How do you feel about this move?
– What is the biggest reason to not make this move?
– How does mom spend her days now?
– What are her favorite foods?
– Have you looked at other communities and, if yes, what did you like and not like?
Here is what you want to figure out: Is the timing is really right for the move? Is your community is the right one? Is the level of care you are offering compatible with the needs of the resident?
It is awful to lose a prospective resident to another senior housing community and it may even seem terrible to have a prospective resident make the decision to stay at home. But it is much worse is to convince a resident and their family to make the move when it is not a fit. If that happens, more often than not, the resident will be miserable and it can poison the whole community culture. It can result in people saying bad things about your community and making the next sale even harder.
On the other hand . . . if you help the family decide it is not the right place or not the right time, then you will have made a friend and, with regular, friendly, follow-up, when the time comes your community will be the one of choice.
2. Tell True Stories
DO NOT MAKE UP A HYPOTHETICAL RESIDENT! (Though it is OK to change a name to protect a resident’s privacy.) If you know your residents you will be able to tell a real life story or stories about residents and their families who had a great deal of reluctance to make the move and found that they thrived. How they found that they got healthier because their medications were managed better; because they were better nourished, because they had someone checking on their health condition every day. Tell stories about new friendships being formed; about the joy of participating in activities.
3. Tell The Truth
While I do believe that many seniors who avoid senior housing because of long held misconceptions about senior housing, I also appreciate that it is not for everyone. In particular, you want to set proper expectations. A resident who has spent their whole life keeping to themselves will not suddenly become a social butterfly in a senior housing community. Someone who has been negative their whole life will not suddenly gain a positive outlook. Even if the community is able to meet every conceivable need and want of that resident, they will still find something to complain about.
Tell the truth about how carefully you can monitor the safety and security of the resident. You will not typically have someone with them 24/7. Making sure the family understands what you are able to do and what what you are not able to do will substantially increase your chances of having a happy lawsuit-free relationship.
I would love to hear from you about what questions you use when talking to family
members and how you do the very best job of telling your community’s story.
Next week I will talk about how to present the benefits to prospective residents.
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From Linkedin Groups:
It is all in the presentation. The older generations are somewhat resistant to go into a ‘senior’ residence because that is something that NEVER would have been an option for their own parents. There is a stigma attached. Today, children and families can see the benefits of senior residences or senior communities, but there is resistance.
As a younger generation I have seen many senior residences that personally I would move into today! I could have someone else to take care of the routine daily/weekly tasks of: laundry,cleaning, cooking and more! Plus, think of all the activites that are offered- when it is 30 below up here in Canada I do not have to go outside!
Now to the senior generation of today and I am talking about the 80 plus age range-they see the benefits, they know it will make their children happy, but it is hard to leave ones own home that they have built a life in for so many years.
Discussions-looking at the positive and negative of staying at home with help vs. a senior residence has to be done. I have seen it too many times where the senior has absolutely no choice-because they fell down and broke a hip. After rehab-it’s a senior residence and at that point there is no choice because often you take what is available.
Posted by Vikki Gelbart, MSW
From Linkedin Groups:
Real stories about seniors who have greatly benefited from an assisted living community really helps everyone see the positive aspects of choosing to live in one. I’ve interviewed many seniors who moved into an assisted living community, most of whom did not want to move from their private home. And most of them waited until their was a crisis. It was great to hear how the move was a new beginning for them. They met new friends, had lots of fun activities, without the worry of living alone. I know these “real life” stories brought many of their friends to visit and take tours of the facility after we had pitched those article to local papers. The photos of the beautiful grounds, apartments and amenities also helped.
Posted by Karen Everett Watson
From Linkedin Groups:
Steve – As a representative of a senior community, I often feel that our job is to get families to be more realistic about what their loved one is and isn’t doing for themselves. I tend to focus on ‘setting a person up for success’ so that the right services and resources are coupled with their living arrangements. People have a problem with the labels like assisted living. Often times through discussion we uncover that the person is truly getting ‘assisted living’ at home from family or others. I try to be less focused on the labels and more on the outcome of living in an environment that provides the proper amount of support and encouragement. You are right in that community living is not for everyone. Offering thoughtful, solution-oriented information is what customers need when they often have no idea where to start. Thanks for the great blog!
Posted by Angela Moloney
From Linkedin Groups:
First, I listen carefully to why the person is looking at senior housing, and what they want vs. what they need. I tell all of the pros about living in senior housing including the socialization that many seniors lack in their own homes, reiterating how it matches their wants and needs. If the family is still skeptical, I tell them that I lived in independent senior housing for 3 years and my experiences. I have even shown them my apartment in the past. By now, their sold on the idea. It opens their eyes to the fact that one does not need to be “old” to live in senior housing. In fact, life becomes more enjoyable!
Posted by Jo-Ann Wendt
From Linkedin Groups:
Steve, you present some great ideas in your post. I especially appreciate that you bring up the importance of helping families develop an open, honest pros and cons list. I also think it’s important to “show” and not just “tell” families about the benefits of senior housing. And I think online channels are a great starting point.
An organization’s blog, website, and/or Facebook page should feature stories (as you note, TRUE stories) that “show” how senior housing enriches lives. Better yet, resident-authored posts could highlight those honest pros and cons.
These days, many of us turn online to look for information, reviews and consumer insights. Communities can create an open space for these stories so that families and seniors can witness the benefits.
Posted by Donna Arriaga
From Linkedin Groups:
It all depends on the quality of the Senior Housing in question: What about the food: Is it real food with real vitality?, or is it processed crap and simple carbohydrates? Where does the produce come from? Local? Fresh? Organic? Or grown in depleted soils,picked too early, and shipped in from far away?
What about safety? How well is each resident monitored? Does the facility have low impact floors or does it have the standard bone-shattering floors that most facilities use, for ease in cleaning? What about meaningful activities and outings? What about the size of the room? Is it your typical nursing home “shoebox” or is it a spacious, well appointed living space that can actually replicate that senior’s home that they are being forced out of?
A senior who is living in their own home, with safety modifications in place, with really high quality home support, a great “day program” and lots of good social activities, and family members who really care and spend quality time with them, will do better staying put than to be put into your traditional nursing home or assisted living situation.
If you are talking about the new generation of wellness based, human potential based Senior Living environments, then YES making this move is a very positive step. That is what the SENICA project is all about.
So, I would have to say, it all depends which facility a person is considering moving to.
Posted by Del Muzzillo
From Linkedin Group:
Steve,
This is a unique and uplifting perspective to take on an issue that is surrounded by so much stigma. Great work!.
Posted by Suzanne Yoder
I like the opportunity this website gives to share “housing” challenges for people as they get older. I have worked in long term care for 23+ years.
Thanks, I’ve been seeking for info about this topic for ages and yours is the best I have located so far.
I am an Administrator not only for our website http://yourseniorcarenetwork.com but also for two Residential Care Facilities in California. This is always a tough topic for families connected with a lot of guilt.
One of our goals with our website is to create awareness for Residential Care Homes and Assisted Living Communities. That is one reason why we created a video with a Resident of a Board and Care Home called “Meet George” to not only inspire an Elderly or Senior person looking for a home but also to show their Families that Life in a Board and Care Home is worth Living.
George has a really positive outlook on life at the current age of 92. Watch this uplifting and encouraging video at http://tinyurl.com/8ujttxm and forward it on to a friend that is worried about placing a loved one in an Assisted Living or Residential Care Facility.