By Jack Cumming
Sometimes, I wonder how it came to be that I am privileged, as a resident, to be able to write for those of you who are board members, executives, and other notables in the senior living industry. It’s humbling, though I view you all as friends … most of the time.
Brené Brown
A protégé of mine, who is now CFO of a business in Mexico City, introduced me recently to Brené Brown. Of course, I should have encountered Brené (with an accent aigu) much sooner, but I didn’t. She explained to me why I do what I do. Here’s that story.
I really do consider you all my friends. In one of her books, Dare to Lead, Brené writes of addressing an audience of important people, all dressed up like Secret Service agents. She learned to picture that audience “… without the armor of their titles, positions, power, or influence.” She pictured a frowning, judgmental woman in the front row as what “… she looked like in third grade.”
The Secret Sauce
That’s it. That’s what allows me to do what I do. We’re all in this together. We’re born. We love. We prosper … or we don’t. And then, we’re gone. Life has a rhythm in which we all participate. I may now be 88 and slipping toward the door, but I’m still learning. If I don’t share with you what I’m thinking, I can’t hear back from you so that I can keep learning.
We’re all learning, aren’t we? I sure hope so. I know that I love to read. Why? It’s because of that love of learning. Perhaps that’s the one thing that we can gain from our education if we are lucky. We can learn to love learning and to want to share that with others so that they can have that benefit too.
Helping Others
Throughout my career, I’ve enjoyed helping others find the soul within them that can lead them to the success we all crave. That’s not the success of money, though sufficient money is nice. It’s not being the center of attention, though that can be a temptation. It’s not control and power, though authority can be instrumental toward helping others.
What constitutes success varies from one person to another. In loving each other, we can help each other to find that inner calling. If we can act as a willing listener to help others find what gives them satisfaction, then we can find contentment in our own being. Brené calls this “interconnectedness.” My interpretation is that we find our happiness in our shared being and in the support we give each other to find our way along life’s path.
Seeking Meaning
Not everyone has that blessing. Some people pursue false inner yearnings for what will make them happy. I’m sure that there are some, for instance, who have sought the presidency, thinking that they would be less insecure. Perhaps that works for some, but studying history makes me think that it’s a false goal even for some of those who attain it.
Once, in the summer of 1957, I was privileged to have dinner at Hickory Hill with Jack and Bobby Kennedy, plus a few others. I was young. They seemed young. What I took away from that evening was how much we share in our humanity. Jack Kennedy genuinely wanted to use his wit and leadership skills to make life better for the world. I was very struck by the quality of his mind and the maturity of his demeanor.
How Do You Identify?
You may identify yourself as a leader in senior living, but we know, and you know, that is a very ephemeral identity. You also have many other identities that make you the unique person you are. If you have the gift of clear vision, you are very blessed. Accept that identity and use it as a blessing for others. That is a path toward success.
This reflection began with the question, “Why me?” For me, that’s the wrong question. The insight that comes to me in those quiet moments of candid reflection in the wakeful moments of night is that it doesn’t matter why you were chosen. The simple fact is that you have been chosen, and all you can do is the best you can do.
We all matter. We all have gifts. If we are fortunate, we learn early in life what gifts Providence has given us. Then we can spend the rest of our lives in service to others to the best of our ability. That is the true name of success. I feel richly blessed, and I thank the giver of gifts for all of you, my friends. God bless you.
