By Steve Moran
Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, were found dead on February 26 in New Mexico under mysterious circumstances. Initial reports said no foul play, but then things seemed amiss. We now have a pretty clear picture of what happened and a timeline. The why questions will likely never be fully answered.
It appears his wife, Betsy, was the first to go, around February 11, from hantavirus. Hackman lived another seven or eight days before passing away around February 18. It seems likely that his declining health and dementia left him unable to deal with her death in any kind of meaningful way.
Their bodies were not discovered until February 26.
This was not a matter of resources. A Google search suggests he/they had a net worth of around 80 million dollars.
It Did Not Have to Be
Every time I see another story about his death, I find myself thinking … if only they had been living in a senior living community …
- She would not have contracted hantavirus.
- She would have still been able to participate in all the things that she apparently was doing when living her life before their lives fell off a cliff.
- He would have had tremendous support throughout his cognitive decline.
- They would have both had great social support.
The Myth That Home Is Better
Repeated surveys show that people want to age at home. Emotionally it feels best, sounds best, but that does not make it true.
I find myself wondering what it was like for Betsy having to care for Gene, seemingly single-handedly, for months or years. It simply didn’t have to be.
A Cautionary Tale
This is a story that should be told during every single sales presentation to support the idea that older people will have a better life in senior living. I believe 100% that they would both have had much better lives and certainly longer lives in senior living. Perhaps all their money was a big part of what decreased their quality of life.
We need to be telling our story better.
Mr Moran appears to be in his “selling mode”. There are other aspects to his tale. I’ve lived the last ten years in a community setting. It is a complicated issue. He is right to point out the advantages but unless other views are presented, his story is dangerously misleading.
This is kind of a cryptic reply… what other views need to be presented?
As for selling… again not sure what you mean by that. I do believe there are many older people living at home who would have better lives in senior living. Not everyone of course because there is no one “better for everyone” solution.
I do believe that in the case of Hackman and his wife. Senior living would have provided a better outcome than what happened.
I agree 100% with you Steve and I do not think you are in “selling” mode. Not everyone chooses senior living, however this would not have happened if they had more support. Having a sole caregiver, even one 30 years younger(!) does not protect the vulnerable senior with dementia. It could just as easily been a fall or a cardiac event for her that would have left him alone, confused and ultimately led to his death.